Vesuvial Suicide
Higgledy Piggledy
Pliny the Elderly,
Taking a nap under
Volcanic skies.
What was he thinking? Such
Idiosyncrasy!
Just as well--I suppose
Everyone dies.
* * *
Unwelcome Harbor Guest
Higgledy Piggledy
Emperor Claudius,
Taking delight in at-
tacking a whale--
Made up a new game called
Orcanaumachia;
Chariot fighters in
Rome now seem pale.
(This did happen in Ostia; Pliny the
Elder records it. Strange thing--a ship of
hides from Gaul had shipwrecked in the harbor
while it was under construction. A killer whale
came to eat the hides and got stuck in the shallow waters. Claudius
brought Praetorian Guards and made a spectacle of killing the whale, as if
it were a show during the games.)
* * *
Haunted House
Clinkity Clankety
AthenoDOrus, phi-
lospher, purchasing
Cheap real estate,
Faced up to hauntings with
parapsychology,
buried the bones--now he's
Lost his roommate.
(From Pliny the Younger's letters.)
* * *
Ninth Month
Wiggledy-Squiggledy
Tobin the Parasite,
Fetalaerobically
Moving about,
Tumbling and cartwheeling
Amniaquatically--
Why can't you just seem to
Find the way out?
(clearly written late summer 1995)
* * *
Falco's Dad
Higgledy Piggledy
Didius Geminus
Caught nicking gifts that were
Bought by his boy,
"You know by now I'm a
Filifinangler,
Shady shenanigans--
My pride and joy."
(with apologies to Lindsey Davis)
* * *
Zero to Hero
Higgledy Piggledy
Hercules, "Jerkules,"
Hades' opponent in
Seizing the top;
Thwarted his takeover
Superheroic'ly
(Disneyesque artistry
sells in a shop.)
* * *
Sabine Women
Higgledy Piggledy
Women of Sabine, who
Rushed into battle 'twixt
Husbands and Dads,
Though their own rapes started
Filiopatricide,
Dropped the bomb: PREGNANCY--
No one left sad.
* * *
Luck of the Dice
Higgledy Piggledy
Emperor Claudius
Suffered from passions--yea,
Verily--vice;
Gambled on marriages
(Ludifututio);*
Bettered his chances by
Playing at dice.
(Ludifututio was coined by the illustrious Peter Green.
It means f***ing game.)
* * *
Pontilianus
Higgledy Piggledy
Pontilianus, ac-
quaintance of Martial and
Rather a pest;
"Send me your book!" M said
epigrammatic'ly
"Risk reciprocity?
Surely you jest!"