 Saturnalia Skit & More
Io Saturnalia,
Cambridge Latin Course Version
by Linda Chester
With apologies to Deborah Carter , Brian Ballantine, and
Ryan Tuccinardi of Linganore High School in Frederick, Maryland, I
tinkered around with their most excellent skit in order to bring in some
CLC references. Knowing how tight time is this time of the year,
here's my effort:
Dramatis Personae:
Narrator (who is allowed to hold a script)
Grumio, a wily slave
Clemens, the other slave, also somewhat wily
Caecilius, the master
Various non-speaking members and friends of familia:
Metella, the wife of Caecilius
Quintus, the son of Caecilius
Melissa, the female slave admired by all the male members of the household
Cerberus, the family dog
Syphax, the slave dealer from Syria
Pantagathus, the barber
Felix. the freedman
Celer, the painter
Poppaea, a female slave and Grumio's girlfriend
Lucrio, an old man and Poppaea's master
Actius and Sorex, well-known actors
Hermogenes, a Greek merchant
Scene: outside the domus. Grumio is pacing and
trying to figure out a way to make Saturnalia come earlier.
Narrator: Here we are outside the domus of a
wealthy citizen of Pompeii, the banker L. Caecilius Iucundus. It is
the 17th day before the Kalends of January -- or December 16, to you --
and the festival of Saturnalia begins tomorrow, on December 17. This
most joyous of holidays, in honor of the god Saturn, lasted anywhere form
three to seven days. One of the traditions during Saturnalia was for
masters to free their slaves -- temporarily, of course. As our play
begins, one slave is waiting eagerly for his moment of freedom.
Grumio (addressing audience): Here we are on
the 17th day before the kalends of January, already several days into the
holiday season, and I don't think I can wait another moment for my pilleum
-- the cap of freedom that my master will give me to wear during the
Saturnalia. I wonder if there is any way to speed up this sundial
here, to trick him into giving me my pilleum a day early? (He walks
around the imaginary sundial, contemplating.)
(Clemens enters.)
Clemens: Io Saturnalia, Grumio!
Grumio: Not yet, Clemens. We'll have to
wait another day to use that greeting, unless I can think of a way to
hurry time along. Just think -- tomorrow when we wake up, the master
and his family will be serving our breakfast instead of the other way
around!
Clemens: Yes, but the best part about
Saturnalia is being allowed to gamble openly and in public. I am
going to win enough money to buy my freedom permanently! Then I'll save
all the denarii that I earn so that I can buy Melissa's freedom and make
her my wife.
Grumio: You are a dreamer. All you ever
do is lose money when you gamble, whether it's in public or in secret. And
you stand as much chance of winning the affections of the lovely Melissa
as Quintus does. She pays more attention to Cerberus here ( snoring loudly
as he sleeps in the garden beneath the sundial). No, the best part about
Saturnalia is being chosen The Saturnalicius Princeps, the Master of the
Saturnalia in the household. That lucky person gets to order
everyone else around for seven days!
Clemens: Now who is the dreamer? The
Saturnalicius Princeps will be a member of the master's family, and you
know it.
Grumio: Do you have all your gifts prepared
for the last day?
Clemens: Not yet, but with the money I win at
gambling, I'll be able to buy the most wonderful dolls for all the
children, and the most beautiful candles.
Grumio: Well, I suppose we should get back to
work, since the Saturnalia hasn't started yet. (They exit.)
Narrator: Now it has finally arrived.
Although almost the entire month of December was spent in celebrating some
holiday or another, it was the Saturnalia that everyone looked forward to.
There was no school during this time, no business. No one had to
work at all. Oh, the other celebrations were very nice, especially
the solstice festival for Sol Invictus -- the unconquered sun -- and the
Kalends of January, or New Year, in honor of Janus. But Saturnalia
was the one called "the best of days" by the great poet
Catullus.
(Enter all three characters, the master holding two paper
hats.)
Caecilius: Io Saturnalia!
Grumio and Clemens: Io Saturnalia, domine.
Caecilius: Today I am not your dominus, your
master. Today we are all equal! Here are your pillea. Wear
them in good health. (He gives each slave a cap to wear.)
Grumio. At last! And where is my
breakfast?
(Good-natured chuckles all around.)
Caecilius: Very soon my family will be
bringing out the traditional Saturnalia cake for everyone! My wife
and son are picking up our loaves from the baker right now. They got
off to a late start, since they spent so much time decorating the house.
There is laurel and cypress everywhere!
Clemens: How soon will the formal sacrifice
begin? (aside, to Grumio.:) The sooner the ritual is over and the
holiday has officially begun, the sooner I can start earning my freedom
money!
Caecilius: Right after breakfast, we will all
head over to the Temple of Saturn and watch as the priests ceremoniously
untie and remove the woolen bonds around the feet of Saturn's statue,
symbolizing freedom for everyone. And tonight, the banquet, where
everyone will dress informally and have riotous fun! Look, here
comes the rest of my familia along with some of our friends. Salvete,
Syphax, Pantagathus, Felix, Celer, Lucrio, Poppaea, Actius, Sorex, and
even Hermogenes, carrying the money he owes me and a bone for Cerberus!
They are helping Metella and Quintus bring the Saturnalia
cake. Let me be the first to serve you, gentlemen!
Omnes: IO SATURNALIA!
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